I Once Saw Jesus

Yes, I did. And no matter how you judge me or what ugly names you call me, you can’t make me unremember it.

God moments are a joy in my life. They knock me on my butt in surprise. They humble me. I’m grateful for them.

Why me?

I constantly ask God to reveal Himself to me. I pray for it, I intercede for it. I search for God. In others. In myself. In what stumbled into my everyday, sent by God.

What foolish thoughts! My actions have nothing to do with any special gift He’s bestowed on me. Nothing.

God is not transactional. That is, if I do this, He’ll do that.

He is God.

And God just does. He gives. He listens. He takes. He decides. He acts. He waits. He embraces. He just does.

It happened while I was on a full day Holy Spirit retreat. At the end, we celebrated mass together. I was prompted after Prayers of the Faithful petitions to move a bowl of written personal petition slips, forgotten and left in the entrance foyer, to the altar. The requests, written diligently on tiny bits of paper by the retreatants, needed to be on the altar so the graces of the mass would be showered over them. I obeyed the prompting and transported them up the aisle. It was Awkward. Embarrassing. I scurried back to my pew and bowed my head feeling like I had done something wrong.

When I looked up after the raising of the Eucharist, the retreat-leading priest had been replaced by a tall, slender, darker priest with a shadow beard and a hip hair style. Curious, my eyes searched for where our sweet retreat Father had gone but couldn’t find him. Then I looked at the celebrant again and saw He was Jesus. Jesus was celebrating the Last Supper with us. What could I do except bow low before my King?

My God is so, so good to me.

Why did Jesus let me see Him? Did it have to do with the petitions errand? Only He knows. I’m just thankful.

What did He look like? A bit like Ben Affleck. You decide when you see Him. Please say Hi to Him from me.